- The film Inside out 2 gives prominence to emotions that Mental Health specialists confirm: “All emotions have an important role in our lives, to connect with ourselves, with others and cope with the environment: they are neither good nor bad, neither positive nor negative.”
- Mónica Villar, child psychologist and clinical neuropsychologist at the Ribera Povisa hospital, remembers that in adolescence “physical and mood changes are very rapid” and that it is important to provide resources “to regulate them in intensity and positively influence behavior.”
Living with a teenager is not always easy. In summer, away from routines and generally more controlled environments, the relationships in the families of the more than four million adolescents between 12 and 18 years old in Spain, according to the National Institute of Statistics (INE), can pose some challenges. Mónica Villar, child psychologist and clinical neuropsychologist at the hospital Ribera Povisa (Vigo) gives five keys to try to overcome these holidays with success and family peace: empathy, active listening, assertive communication, promoting moments of joy and complicity and learning from mistakes.
“Adolescence is a time of challenges, growth and changes, physical and hormonal, that help build one's identity,” explains Mónica Villar, who adds that these changes “modify the mood of adolescents very quickly, and “This is reflected in intense emotions and variable behavior.” This specialist's basic advice to families is to “recognize and accept that our sons and daughters have grown and their world has expanded beyond the family.” Next, he adds, parents “should make a sincere reflection on how we recognize and manage emotions and help them understand that all emotions play an important role in our lives, to connect with ourselves, with others and cope with around". Films like Inside Out 2, released last June, focus on the validation and recognition of all types of emotions.
The child psychologist and clinical neuropsychologist at the Ribera Povisa hospital recommends that, to help adolescents, “who experience very rapid physical and mood changes, sometimes unpredictable, mediated by the approval of friends, academic demands, falling in love or family changes , it is important to work on the following skills:
- Empathy: recognize that, for our son and daughter, adapting to the physical and social changes they have to face is not easy. Let him know that we respect his process but that we, as adults, can also make mistakes when accompanying him and that he also has to respect ours.
- Practice active listening: let it be known that we listen to you, we want to know what worries you and what you do. And that's why we asked him, because he is an important person for us. Avoid comparing our situation with theirs because we are in different evolutionary moments.
- Assertive communication: Validate emotions, keep in mind that at these times short conversations, with a single message that shines above the others, work best.
- Remember that mistakes are opportunities to learn. We correct them and apply proportional measures, taking into account the characteristics of the adolescent and the specific family situation.
- Promote moments of joy and complicity in everyday life. If we want to encourage positive thinking, thanking out loud is usually a good resource.
The health group specialist Ribera Remember that recognizing and validating emotions is also important for adults. “They are a response of the body to a stimulus, an event or a change in ourselves or in our environment, and they give us information about how we are, how we feel and how we perceive what is happening around us,” he explains. “Emotions are not good or bad, neither positive nor negative,” he explains, but adds that “what can be pleasant or unpleasant are the sensations that these emotions produce based on how they impact relationships with friends, family or studies.” .
For this reason, he concludes, it is important to “work on resources to recognize and regulate emotions in intensity and help them positively influence our behavior.”
