- With the proximity of Valentine's Day, psychiatrists and psychologists from the Ribera health group warn that it is not an adequate strategy to move forward and close the mourning for the sentimental break "in a healthy way"
- They ensure that a continuous desire for revenge, grudges and not learning to forgive can foster significant emotional instability and make new romantic relationships difficult.
Mental Health Specialists Ribera healthcare group They say that the desire for revenge after a breakup "indicates that anger has become a problematic emotion and that psychotherapy may be necessary." Romantic relationships, breakups, reconciliations and agreements or confrontations with the ex-partner are frequent situations in our environment and sometimes, in addition, they are the subject of news, debate and even television programs, even more so on dates close to Valentine's Day.
Sofía Carazo, psychiatrist of the Torrejón University Hospital, remember that "a sentimental break means the loss of a bond, so overcoming it entails a necessary mourning process." Therefore, it is common for one or both parties to have a hard time. In fact, all specialists attribute the same phases to sentimental grief as to mourning for death - denial, anger, negotiation, depression and acceptance - although they insist that not all people go through all phases, not even in the same order. or intensity.
All the Mental Health specialists consulted agree in assuring that emotions such as anger, anger, guilt, sadness, confusion, frustration, loneliness, disappointment, nostalgia or jealousy can be part of any of the phases of mourning, even accompanied by physical symptoms. such as tiredness, anguish or a feeling of a knot in the stomach, lack of energy, insomnia and crying. For Marta Marcos, psychologist at the Department of Health of the Vinalopo, "we do not have to think that experiencing this emotion always has a negative meaning, because it really helps us to distance ourselves from the ex-partner, and that, in turn, allows us to make changes in our way of life." In other words, he adds: "if we know how to manage it and not remain anchored in those emotions, they will propel us towards acceptance." Ana Isabel Velasco, a nurse at the Mental Health Hospitalization Unit of the Torrejón University Hospital, agrees with her. “Many times these feelings are necessary at a certain moment for a healthy duel, since on some occasions people tend to anesthetize the feelings, avoiding experiencing the emotions,” says Velasco.
But anger or even anger does not necessarily have to lead to revenge. Marta Marcos, a psychologist from the Department of Vinalopó, explains that the desire for revenge is generated from "the need to repair the damage that a person feels they have suffered." However, she emphatically affirms that "it is not an adequate strategy to advance in the acceptance of the breakup and that, in addition, it will make it difficult to make a healthy closure of the grieving process." For Ana Isabel Velasco, a continuous desire for revenge "can be very draining in relation to mental health and encourage the appearance of emotional instability, from lack of control and anger." In addition, she reminds her, it can be a problem when it comes to rebuilding her love life.
Doctor Carazo explains the "normal" mourning process, including the sentimental one, it can last between 6 months and two years, and it is considered that the duel has become complicated and it may be convenient to go to a specialist "when the symptoms and feelings after the rupture are so intense that they significantly hinder the daily functioning of the person and/or if they last excessively in time”.
